The mind is one of the greatest gifts that God has given us. It is capable of incredible things, from understanding great depths of our world through the sciences to creating beautiful architecture, art, and music, to reading and writing, speaking, walking, and telling our body in an instant what to do and how to do it. The possibilities of this wonderful gift seem to be infinite. At the same time, the mind, if not trained up in proper imagination can become a terrible burden, a source of incredible angst, and a tool for evil doing. Indeed, the minds of many people race with thoughts during the night, attach to fears and traumatizing events of the past, and create insecurity and anxiety. Some people are overcome by their thoughts, whether of business and clutter, past mistakes and shame, or darker mind games of depression and suicide. We all, to whatever degree, have struggled keeping thoughts at bay and understand that some of the biggest battles we fight are not external but internal. We are often our own greatest adversary and strive, through various means, to be free from ourselves.
I personally have spent a large portion of my life trapped in my head. I was held captive by thoughts of insecurity, overwhelmed by feelings (often attached to your thought life) of loneliness and depression, and I again and again would give into sexual fantasies that shifted the way I treated women. I was controlled by my mind, driven by my own fearful tendencies and believed the worst about situations. And then Jesus came into the picture. He showed me who I was, gave me the Bible, which believe it or not is actually full of truth that sets you free, and we began a journey together towards mental freedom. In this blog I hope to share some key things that I have learned over the last 4 years that have led to an incredible amount of peace and joy. I no longer struggle with depression; in fact, I don’t even really know how to be sad anymore. I am also anxiety free, due to much practice in gaining control over my own brain and leading it to believe truth. If you struggle with the thoughts in your head or feel like there is too much clutter in the space between your ears then I think you will be very encouraged by the information to follow. And don’t worry; even if you don’t know about the whole Jesus thing or are not a Christian, there are tons of things to be taken from this post. Let’s begin.
Become Aware
The first step towards freedom is simply to become aware of what is going on in your head. In this day and age the most common ways to combat stress are distraction and what I call “running”. In order to quiet the noise in our minds we fill ourselves with any type of stimulation (a different noise), whether it is social media or television, sports and activities, etc. I am not saying that these things are wrong or bad in themselves, but they are often only temporary fixes to a deeper issue. “Running” is, as you probably already know, an escapist mentality. It is the idea that getting away from your responsibilities, getting off of work, not having to write a blog post when you have no time already (oops!) is going to give you true freedom. It is the idea that you can finally chill, say, when you retire. Again, I am not saying that it is not good to have time for yourself or that getting away can’t reduce stress, but eventually you are going to have to come back to those responsibilities and tasks. The idea is that we should be able to have perfect peace in the midst of our responsibilities and stressful times. We shouldn’t have to escape or distract to have peace.
The true state of your mind is found in the quiet. It is when you chose to turn away from stimulation and just sit with yourself. In this place, you find out how loud and obnoxious your thought life really is. Some people have such intense thoughts going on in their minds that they can’t even be alone; they are afraid of themselves, afraid to think, and afraid of the feelings that come along with what they think. I can tell you right now, this is not what God intended for his children. Mental Stress is not Normal! The first step, becoming aware, is taking a leap of faith to recognize that there are thoughts in our minds that are not life giving. We must acknowledge (not to sound too AAish) that there is a problem and that something needs to be done about it. This comes from getting alone and facing the fears, stressors, and thoughts that are constantly rattling in our brains. It is the beginning of a life long commitment to live free from ourselves.
Know the Truth
In order to recognize the unhealthy habits of your brain, you must have a strong sense of identity and a foundation of what thoughts are healthy. My foundation for both of these things was found in my relationship with God and the truth I found in the Bible. I learned that my identity was set in stone, that I was loved, accepted, holy and righteous, beautiful and wonderfully made. I started to accept that I was love just as God was love, and as 1 Corinthians 13 says, “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.” I began replacing love with my name in this passage, and then examined my thoughts to see which ones matched up with this powerful word and which did not. I observed where my thoughts led to self-condemnation and shame and then just as I replaced my name with love, I replaced thoughts of self-condemnation with self-love and thoughts of shame with acceptance. It is obviously easier said then done, but in time, if you keep applying truth to the lies, your brain starts to accept the truth and let go of the lie. I would encourage you to replace your name with the love passage in 1 Corinthians even now and get a grid for where you are at.
If you don’t know truth, then you will not see freedom. If you allow yourself to keep thinking thoughts of negativity and stress then you will remain negative and stressed. It is that simple. Your perspective is everything. You must change how you see things, turn from the world’s way of thinking, which says that you are always going to be stressed, that you have to worry about money, that you are not good enough or pretty enough or that a relationship and marriage will ultimately satisfy you. All of that is complete BS. You need to understand that you are inherently loved and beautiful and made by God, and so there is no need to perform for people or in your work place. You need to know that God is a provider, so there is not need to fight for money or be in an endless cycle of hustling to get an extra dollar. Actually to give is to gain. You need to know that stress is not normal and not the life God intended for you, and then make steps to acknowledge the thoughts that make you stressed and deal with them with truth.
Speak out Loud. One last thought on this topic: often times those who struggle with mental illness or issues are caught up inside the mind. Speaking truth out loud is most often the best way to combat what is going on internally. Pretend that you are hearing truth from another person outside of yourself, perhaps a transformed future you, and listen to that voice telling you truth. Speak the opposite of what is going on inside. If you are stressed, say out loud, “I am not stressed, thank you Jesus for peace and clarity, thank you for a still mind and that you love me; anxiety is not a problem I have, you are an answer God!” You may not see results for months; I sure didn’t. In fact, crying out to God sometimes seemed to make it worse. But I kept at it. I kept a thankful attitude and 4 years later I hardly ever get stressed and I am filled with peace and good perspective. Do not settle for a quick fix that leaves you even more anxious the next week. Engage in a process and journey that may take a year or two, but in the end, will create lasting peace. Ok, that was more than one thought.
Thoughts That You Are Afraid Of: Don’t fight
We all have them; those thoughts that creep up on us in the night and in the quiet. Those nagging devils that play on our insecurities and fears to make us acknowledge and accept lies. They whisper that we are not good enough. But their whispers are louder than the people talking right in front of us. We can no longer be present with others, for we are tormented on the inside. Ok, I feel like I am writing a horror novel ahah, but lets be real, thoughts can get really scary and serious. I used to have terrible thoughts having to do with my own self-worth, saying that I should just end my life. I’ve had weird thoughts of suicide, rape, murder, stealing, hurting other people, taking advantage of people, sexual identity and countless others. Am I being too candid?
I am honest now because I now realize that none of those thoughts are actually me. I had a revelation a while back that if my thoughts were not encouraging then they were not from God and that they were not a part of who I was. I realized that I never had to acknowledge or give time to a thought unless it brought life to my spirit and soul. I have good news for you…if you have any thought that you wish you didn’t have, that doesn’t encourage you and fill you with joy and wonderment…it isn’t from God and it isn’t you, so don’t listen to it or give it attention. You may be thinking that this is craziness, but I dare you to start living this way, not accepting any thought or feeling or pressure that doesn’t fill you with confidence and love. I bet you that your day will be different.
I stopped fighting thoughts. Many times we try to fight our thoughts by yelling at them with more thoughts. We try to fight a cluttered and stressed mind with more thoughts that only add to the clutter and stress. Let me explain.
A little while ago I had a nagging thought that lasted for about 2 months or so. I won’t go into great detail, but lets just say it was a certain insecurity about my body and it really affected how I saw myself for those two months. Thinking that I was doing the right thing, I would constantly speak to the insecure thought and tell it to go away. I would declare my identity and how valuable I was. But the more I addressed the problem and focused on trying to get rid of it, the more it grew. I just ended up focusing on it more. Soon enough, God taught me a valuable lesson. He told me that the only reason I was fighting insecurity so hard was because I was terrified that it was actually true. I was scared that it would define me more than God my father would. The truth is, if I really believed that I was valuable and perfectly made, I wouldn’t even give the time of day to a thought of insecurity because I would immediately recognize it as a fallacy. We only fight what we are afraid of. So, with God’s guidance, I began ignoring the issue altogether. I would hear the thought in my head and even feel the insecurity in my chest, but I would keep my heart and eyes looking straight at Jesus, who is the culmination of all truth and wisdom. I would never acknowledge the thought or even speak truth, I simply took a step of faith to believe it wasn’t true and that I didn’t need to “deal” with it, despite what I felt. Eventually that thing left as well because it realized that it had no power over me.
Think of it this way. A bully only bullies a person, really, because of the reaction that they get from the person (of course there are many other reasons). I’ve noticed, however, that if a bully can’t get a rise out of his/her victim then his/her fun is essentially over. He stops or goes to another person who will be offended or angered. This is the same with thoughts most of the time. The more you think about them, the more they have their fun with you. The more you focus on them, the more loud and prominent they get. Now I am not disagreeing with what I said earlier. There still needs to be an acknowledgement of truth and a combatting of lies. But the way you combat a lie is not by telling the truth to the lie, but telling the truth to yourself. You never want to deal with a problem by focusing on the problem; instead, you want to focus on the answer.
How to Be Still/Meditation
Meditation, though mostly thought of as a yoga, new age, or Buddhist technique, has a long history within the Christian narrative. For centuries, ecstatic believers called mystics sought God through meditation because it brings you to a place of rest, focus, and awareness of God’s presence. It is a shame that it is not encouraged as much in the church today. In fact, it has become a foreign topic to most Christians. I have found, through meditation, inner stillness, a deeper connection with God, and freedom from anxiety.
God himself, I feel, taught me how to become still and meditate. I remember some time ago I had a conversation with a psychologist, and I was explaining to her what I had gained from meditation and how I did it. She was astonished at the mental techniques that I was using because they were foundational to many of the meditation rules she taught her clients. So, obviously, you should totally listen to me 😉
The first step, similar to becoming aware, as mentioned earlier, is to…become aware. Huh…look at that, it’s the same thing that I…mentioned…earlier…ya know. Anyway, the first step is to get away from noise, go up to your room or quiet place and sit in a position that is comfortable but also not going to allow you to fall asleep immediately. In this place, you become what is called an “observer” of your thoughts. You imagine yourself as a third person, simply watching your many thoughts (an incredible amount of thoughts if you are as anxious as I was) pass by as one would a train rolling through a train station. The trick is to not fight your thoughts or try and get yourself to have less of them. I promise you, this doesn’t work. Meditation is the art of letting go of control. You willingly let your thoughts, feelings, and fears all bubble up before you, you allow yourself to feel, and at the same time, you refuse to let any of those thoughts, fears, feelings and confusion to have any meaning for your life or for your identity. In a place of stillness, thoughts no longer have a tie to who you are in your being; they simply are what they are: thoughts.
Breathing and focus are crucial to any time of meditation. It is easier to let go of other thoughts when you are focused on breathing and relaxing. Personally, I would try and focus on one word while breathing in and out slowly. Thoughts would come in with armies of emotions and fears, but I would keep, as best I could, my breathing steady, my desires passive and my mind focused on one word, “Jesus.” I would breathe in the word and then breath out his name. I would repeat this for about 30 minutes and then get up and go on my way. I was a college kid after all, having a million responsibilities. But 30 minutes a day, hey, even 10 or 15 can dramatically change your mindset. And God only knows what growth you will see if you keep at it for a month or two or for a year. Because of the time I spent meditating, even though I do not practice it as much nowadays, I can come into a place of stillness and awareness of mind and thoughts at almost any time. I can become an observer and view my fears and emotions objectively and then let them pass. Because of this, my emotions do not rule me and my thought life stays at a minimum.
I will write more on meditation in a later blog!
Be Patient
Changes in your mind and thought life are not going to happen over night. Indeed, it took me several months to be free from depressing thoughts and 2 whole years to be radically free from anxiety. And to be honest, I still from time to time get caught up in insecurity or think wrongly. But it is never something that lasts for longer than a day because I have a deep intimate knowledge in me, created over the last 4 years, full of hardship and craziness, that I am loved, created with a purpose, free, and meant to live in abundance. My thought life does not control me anymore, my fears fall off daily, and my life is changed forever because of Jesus and the truth that he gave me to set me free. I want you to know that it is possible for you to be free from your mind, from depression and anxiety, from insecurity and loneliness and all manner of devilish schemes that come from hurtful brain activity. Practice what I have written here, and continue practicing it even when it doesn’t work for sometime. Do not give up. You are going to have days that are full of anxiety and days that are full of freedom for some time before you become very consistent and steadfast. For me, it took about a year to be consistently free everyday. But this is not a race or something that you have to be better (or worse) than me at. Go at your own pace, and understand that it takes time to change the chemistry and bad habits in your brain. Give it that time, be patient with yourself and with your process in growth, and I promise that you will not be disappointed when you look back and see how far you have come a year from now.
Bless you guys! If you have any questions you can email me at
Abundant Living 