The InseCURE

Security and comfort are two of the most primitive and innate desires within a human being.  We long to feel safe, protected, and confident.  In many cases, what makes us feel secure is what makes us human.  We love a fire in the cold, a hot meal when we are hungry, a nice cup of coffee to wake us up in the morning, and a kind word or person when we are distraught.  There is nothing better than feeling safe.  Unfortunately, many of us live in a perpetual state of insecurity, where we feel everything but safe.  Usually, this doesn’t have anything to do with a physical sense of danger or life or death situations, but rather with an internal state of mind.  Though we might walk on physical ground in our day to day, our mental space may be a completely different story.  Our mind, rather than safety, is filled with fears, failures, shame, comparisons, and all matter of perceptions that make solid ground feel like a tight rope.  Insecurity comes through thoughts of worthlessness and self-image, “I am not good enough,” thoughts of comparison, “that person has it better than me,” and through a general idea that who you are is not who you should be.  It is a plague in our American culture (and indeed human history) that is easily perceived if we would open our eyes and see it as it is.  It is not hard to see just scrolling though social media that we are constantly creating ourselves for others, living according to others’ expectations and desires, and dwelling in a habitual self-conscious mind-set that leaves us empty and anxious.  The fear of judgment permeates throughout our communities, damages our individualism and kills our creativity.  I firmly believe that if don’t take active steps to combat the mind sets of insecurity, then we will live half-hearted and afraid for much of our lives.  I am confident that God has something much better for us and would like to go a little deeper into this issue and its solution.  

As I was thinking about this topic I started to day dream a little bit about rock climbing, thinking about the people that climb to the top of peaks and scale huge rock surfaces sometimes for days at a time.  These crazy adventure seekers climb hundreds, sometimes thousands of feet in the air and enjoy every second of it.  I started to wonder, however, how willing these people would be to climb up these enormous mountains if they didn’t have a rope holding them and protecting them from falling to a sure death.  Obviously, you have your insane exceptions that climb up half dome without a harness or ropes or anything, but for the most part, rock climbers wouldn’t think twice about climbing some of these surfaces without safety ropes.  These ropes give them confidence to ascend to great heights because they know that if they if they do mess up, they won’t fall to their death.  They can take risks and go for holds that they wouldn’t normally go for simply because their confidence is in their support system.  If they didn’t have this support, their climb would be filled with fear and hesitancy and I am sure some of them would freeze and not want to continue the climb for fear of failure.  I started to realize that insecurity does the same thing in our lives.  When we don’t have something sure to put our confidence in our personality, individualism, goals, and ultimately joy come under paralysis.  We are hesitant to put ourselves out there, to take risks, or to be different from the status quo.  We walk on egg shells around others for fear of judgment and make choices based on others’ standards rather than our own values and loves.  Ultimately, insecurity leads us only in paths of paralysis, and if not dealt with, will keep us from reaching the summit of the mountain, on top of which are our goals, ambitions, and purpose.  

Insecurity is not easily remedied.  I wish that I could give a list of 3 things that all start with the same letter that would give you relief from all of your fears, but insecurity is faced and overcome in process with our own minds, and our minds, unfortunately, have been ingrained with performance, judgment, and poor self-image, which are all incredibly deep weeds in the psyche.  I seek to give then only points of practice that have helped me to be a more confident individual and allowed in my own life a genuine freedom from most all of the insecurities I have dealt with.  I entered into a “battle” of sorts with my own my mind about 4 years ago, and through a quite grueling process, have seen tremendous results and growth.  Some insecurities are easy to beat and some stay for what seems like forever, but with time freedom comes in full.  

True freedom comes first by realizing that you are probably insecure in certain areas.  You can’t overcome something that you deny.  In fact, the more you deny something the bigger it gets.  If you don’t tend to a wound it will get infected, and that’s what most people do with the pains that they have in their head.  This is why we have people that put on masks of confidence and robes of pride.  They often can’t deal with their own insecurity or shame in a certain area and compensate for it by being overly assertive or forward.  The irony of this trap can hardly be overstated; people act like they don’t have weakness because they are actually insecure about the fact that they have weakness.  Weakness is not bad, it is just an opportunity for growth.  Actually, Paul says in his letter to the Corinthians that God’s power is made perfect in weakness and that we should be stoked about our weaknesses because they are opportunities for power to manifest.  The first step to overcoming insecurity is to let go of shame and become vulnerable to change in ourselves and with others.  If we can be ok with the fact that we don’t have everything together, we are on the right track towards liberation.

The next step towards secure living is to start uncovering the lies that are holding you captive.  Insecurity feeds off of a lack of identity, and identity, if not founded in something solid and unchanging (See “Found in the eternal”) can get extremely confusing.  If your self-worth and value are dependent on how you feel from day to day or what society considers worthy of praise then you will live your whole life believing that you are not enough.  Your confidence in your choices will fluctuate based on the ever-changing views of culture.  Security then, in my eyes, comes from the constant foundation of God’s love and view of me.  If I can see myself how he sees me, then I will be secure in all things.  No matter what others say, I am loved and valued.  I am acknowledged, accepted, and adored by Daddy God whether or not people treat me well or see the good in me, and for this reason, I can be confident to go after any dream of mine.  I am not held back by a need for approval or by a constant fear of failure, but rather propelled into abundance through the ever-present principle of God’s pleasure over me.  Thus, security lies in the eternal and not the finite.  It is found only in glimpses through the actions of a proud father, a loving friend, or perhaps a new job opportunity here in our world.  These are only reflections, and indeed changing shadows of the true light found in relationship with the creator.  The God of humanity is always proud, always befriending us, and always wanting to breathe new life into our situations through opportunity.  He does not change, and therefore, is the greatest solace of security.  

The final, and probably most important step in overcoming, is to repent.  And I don’t mean repent in the way that the church traditionally uses it, as a confession of sin and means to absolution, but rather, the original greek use of the word metanoia, which means “change your mind.”  In essence, we can not just stop at uncovering wounds and lies in our lives and have a knowledge that there is a greater truth of freedom.  We must put our knowledge of an eternal security to practice, and essentially, reshape our minds to believe the divine truths about ourselves: that we are enough, that we have power to be imaginative and loving, and that we don’t have to prove ourselves or become something else to be accepted, etc.  Now this is the part that no one really wants to do.  We love to talk about our worth as humans and believe in grandiose ideals of positivity, but often times we refuse to actually wrestle with and receive those ideals for ourselves.  The entire beauty of this journey of life is in the intentionality towards progress and fight for freedom.  If we are intentional every day about changing our minds to think better about ourselves and to look in the mirror and choose to see something unique and important, I believe we will get the results we are looking for.  But we must be patient!  We can’t get angry at ourselves if we have an off day, or if we are still struggling with a similar belief for a year or two.  Instead, we must trust that every bit of movement is improvement, and that the process is worth it for the end result, which is abundant life.  

So let us hold fast to the truth about us.  There is no need for insecurity in our lives.  It is only a stumbling block and hinderance to following our God-given dreams and calling.  We must enter into vulnerability, uncover the lies that have held us back, and make practical steps in our own minds to overcome.  It is possible.  I have seen the seed of the truth bear such amazing fruit in my life.  Every day I grow in the idea that I am unconditionally accepted and loved and that I am secure in the beloved.  No fear is too big, no insecurity too strong for the powerful love of God and the insane persistence of mind renewal.  Keep going, be courageous, and kick your insecurities in the teeth.